The Lindsey Family

I just recently got a copy of my Grandmother's journal. It's been quite an eye opening experience as I've traveled with her through her eighty years of life. I didn't know her well but  I still never understood her emotional distance and seemingly bitter distaste for life. We all seek to brag about our ancestry and cling to the pride of a strong moral heritage. I never felt that about my Grandma Ramsay. All I knew was, "those folks were poor dirt farmers and never really went to church."  Legend had it that they were with the Berry brothers who were horse thieves and settled Glendale.

In contrast I was fed on a large dosage of Jorgensen family history. The oral history and traditions of noble pioneer heritage were deeply ingrained in my very being. My great-great grandmother, Mary Jane McCleve pushed a handcart across the plains after a long arduous journey from Ireland, and Israel Hoyt, my great great grandfather was one of the leaders of the longest running united order in the modern church. The stories go on and on.

So, as I picked up the copy of my grandmothers's recollections and journal entries. I was both saddened and enlightened as I read of the hardships she had to bear. 

"My mother, Alzina, died April 15, 1908 just before my 10th birthday. My mother had nine children at the time of her death. My little brother Wallace William had just been born on March 27. The baby died in August. Sessie cared for it until it died. When the baby died and when Sessie left, we were left alone."

"I loved the lilacs and plum blossoms in the spring of the year. We didn't have any. Some people had long rows on both sides of the paths."

"We had to put sheets or newspapers between what few quilts we had to keep warm of a winter as we didn't have enough bedding."

Arth told me he wanted to marry me but his parents didn't want him to. He talked about running away and getting married. I wonder if he ever loved me or if I loved him. Anyway, we got in dutch.  A baby boy was born 14th Aug, 1916. The baby died the same day. He was never given a name."

"After we were married, he took me to his folks house to live with them. We had a bed with a pair of horrible "stickery" blankets on it and denim quilts that should have sickened anyone on such a life. What a sad and horrible bed for anyone to give any company say nothing about a young bride going into strangers."

Our own home."There were no doors hung and no plaster when we moved to our house in town. Just a sub-floor. But my it seemed like a palace after living like we had, going to the ranch in the summer and to Arth's mother's in the fall."

"Every time one of my sons had to go to the US Army, I felt like it would tear my heart out. How happy we were when they all came home."

"Dad (Arth) died February 11, 1945. We sent Jay a telegram, but he never got it for weeks. "

"I was cut back to $35 a month for living expenses for La Ree, Edith, Douglas and myself." I didn't know how I would make it, but we got by,."

"I guess you all think I have all I need. I have my home, and that is all I have after slaving all those years for all of you.Thank God for my good lovely warm home, but I need some loving. How I would love to have some of you put your arms around me and tell me that you love me. I don't want all your big fuss and lots of flowers when I'm gone. I can get along fine when I'm in the box."

"I want you all to know that the minute I knew you were planted in my belly, I loved you. I love all of my dear family."

These recollections and many more helped to paint a picture of a fellow woman, wife and  mother in the incredible struggle of raising kids and finding peace in this hostile environment called earth life. I have a greater appreciation for the woman who is my grandmother. I feel compassion for her struggles,  gratitude for her sacrifices and pride in her enduring love and commitment to family.